


In Our Bedroom After the War

by Ambrose



Category: Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Not everybody dies, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-26 18:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5015869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambrose/pseuds/Ambrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benvolio helped Mercutio fake his death and they both fled Verona; he now has to deal with the consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Our Bedroom After the War

**Author's Note:**

  * For [melvuin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melvuin/gifts).



> written for a tumblr prompt, based on [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL3vnb0Zubk).

You wake up in a sweat, to an empty bed. You picture his body lying in blood, dead on the streets, like in your dreams – like in so many dreams that come back to you whenever you think you found peace, whenever you think you found sleep. You grapple for breath, for a glimpse of reality, trying to shake away that feeling of dread – you can’t bear the thought that he’s not here, that maybe you dreamt him alive all this time, that you’ll never see him again.

A noise at the window; you turn towards it and he’s here, safe and sound, smiling at you with his mischievous air – and yet you can see behind the façade. He says it’s over –  _no more fights, no more danger – we’re safe_  – but you know he didn’t sleep either.

But at least the fighting is over.

 

Time passes, still haunted by the fights long gone, but at least you have each other. The same guilt that gnaws at you gnaws at him – for leaving, leaving your friends to die – had you not, would they still be alive? But you tell yourself, over and over, you had no other choice, that it was the only way to escape. And at least now the fighting is over.

 

You look out the window sometimes, at the world out there; people going through their lives. They never knew the fighting, it was in another city, another time. You see them go on living, the birds flying over town and the leaves changing colours and the cars driving by and the lights going out, and it seems all too peaceful, all too unreal. You expect a fight to break out any moment, but it never happens. It’s a remnant of the past, that you carry like a weight, you can’t leave it behind – that expectation that all hell will break lose and you’ll have to flee or fight for your life. Will the fighting ever be over in your mind?

 

You grieve your friends, sometimes you cry at night, thinking of what could have been, remembering your cousin’s smile, your aunt’s distant but watchful eye.  And maybe a part of you died when you fled, but you carry on, and now you too can smile again. You worry that the good memories will go away too, that one day you’ll have forgotten Romeo’s smile, and the kids’ fights you had with him once upon a time, when it was all just a game where everyone could get back up at the end – when death was still a foreign concept. You’ve struggled so long not to imagine him dead, but you’ve come to terms with it. At least he’s not alone there, and for them the fighting is over.

 

It takes time, and you struggle day after day, but you feel more alive than dead, now. The dreams get spare, and you sleep better, the both of you.You doubt you’ll ever recover entirely, but things you used to love make you smile again, and you can go out without seeing their faces on every passer-by. The wounds heal, just like the scar fades on Mercutio’s flank. You wake up every morning to his smile, and you’re grateful that he didn’t die in that last fight. Maybe hell is on earth, but you don’t walk this path alone anymore – you never have, but you see it now – and the ghosts of the past fade… until one day, in this same little room that saw so much of your grief and sadness, you look at your life and you truly feel, for the first time, that the fighting is over. For good.


End file.
